


Great Comet Group Chat

by Captain_Nerdsalot



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy
Genre: Adult Language, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anatole and Dolokhov are my OTP, Anatole works at LUSH lmao, Crack Fic, Enjoy this weirdness, F/F, Fluff, Group Chat Fic, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Me @ Natasha and Hélène in this fic: oh tHEY FOKIN, Pierre’s like a year older but they call him old man bc why the heck not, Swears every five seconds, The gang’s on a group chat and it’s hell, cuteness, i wrote this at 3 am, they’re all in college
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 11:38:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17848727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Nerdsalot/pseuds/Captain_Nerdsalot
Summary: Anatole, Dolokhov, Natasha, Sonya, Hélène, and Pierre are added onto a group chat.Long story short: All hell breaks loose.Second title: Wild group chat causes chaos to ensue and also sparks uneccasary relationship drama hell yeah





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ConfusedButTrying](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedButTrying/gifts).



> Hello Everyone! Welcome back to “This is what I do instead of sleeping!” 
> 
> Just some brief info:  
> AnaTHOT = Anatole  
> Fierce ;) = Dolokhov  
> HoesRUs = Hélène  
> Natalie = Natasha (She’s the only sane one)  
> SonYAASQUEEN = Sonya  
> BookBitch = Pierre 
> 
> Also, this is a gift to FunkyFlowers because we wrote something similar to it and that’s where I got this idea, so yeah. 
> 
> ENJOY!!

———

AnaTHOT added Natalie to the conversation  
AnaTHOT added SonYAASQUEEN to the conversation  
AnaTHOT added Fierce ;) to the conversation  
AnaTHOT added BookBitch to the conversation  
AnaTHOT added HoesRUs to the conversation  
AnaTHOT named the chat “This is gonna be hell”

AnaTHOT: Sup fuckers ;)

Natalie: Damn it, Anatole. When I gave you my number, I knew you would do this.

AnaTHOT: You know you love me~

Natalie: -_-

SonYAASQUEEN: Accurate name, Anatole 

AnaTHOT: I’m just going to pretend that I wasn’t offended by that

HoesRUs: You know it’s true

AnaTHOT: Says you 

HoesRUs: Touché, but still

AnaTHOT: Okay I just came out here to have a good time and get some of that good chaos and memes, and I am feeling so attacked rn :’(

BookBitch: Dude, you are a meme

AnaTHOT: Shut up old man

BookBitch: I’m like a year older than you...? 

Natalie: Hold up, why is Pierre on here? 

AnaTHOT: I thought we would need a responsible adult for when things go to shit 

Natalie: Understandable

AnaTHOT: Wait a diddly darn heccin second 

AnaTHOT: WHERE’S FEDYA???

Fierce ;): I’ve been here the whole time

AnaTHOT: OH THANK GOD

SonYAASQUEEN: He speaks! He speaks! The elusive Fedya speaks! This is a never before seen moment! Mom get the camera! 

Fierce ;): AAAAAND just like that I’m gone 

AnaTHOT: NuuuuUUuuuUuuuuuUUu 

AnaTHOT: Please don’t leave me :’(

Fierce ;): Okay, fine :)

AnaTHOT: YAY!! :D

Fierce ;): But only because you asked nicely

BookBitch: Okay y’all it’s one in the morning, can we sleep? Some people have to go to work in the morning

BookBitch: I would also like you to know that I am not some people #brokebookbitch

SonYAASQUEEN: #brokebookbitch I’m wheezing 

Natalie: Yeah, I need sleep. Night y’all 

AnaTHOT: I’m some people lol. Night humans.

SonYAASQUEEN: Who says I’m human? You don’t know me..

Fierce ;): WAIT ANATOLE YOU HAVE A JOB???

AnaTHOT: Yeah, I work at the Lush down on central. Wait, you’ve seen me at work!! I tell stories about work all the time!! How did you not remember this???

HoesRUs: Wait, you work? More importantly, you work at Lush?? Seems pretty sus to me..

AnaTHOT: I LIKE THE SMELLS OKAY???

AnaTHOT: IS THAT A CRIME??

Natalie: WE WILL DISCUSS THIS IN THE MORNING. GOOD. NIGHT. 

AnaTHOT: Alright, sheesh. Goodnight.

Fierce ;): Night

HoesRUs: Night ‘tasha~ 

Natalie: GAJAHSFAKSIODFAGJAGSGS

AnaTHOT: ...

AnaTHOT: sus...

AnaTHOT: but goodnight 

———


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hell continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! Second chapter posted! Thank you for sticking around and reading this. I’ll try to post more over this week because I’m off of school.
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

———   
Fierce ;): Lesbians, what is your wisdom? 

Natalie: Girl hot

HoesRUs: The world cold and harsh... but titty warm and soft

SonYAASQUEEN: Watch Naruto

AnaTHOT: Thank you lesbians for your wisdom

BookBitch: Morning to y’all too

Fierce ;): Oh yeah, Sonya I forgot you’re with Mary! How’s that goin? 

SonYAASQUEEN: Goin pretty well uwu 

Fierce ;): Niiiiiice 

AnaTHOT: Okay Pierre my man your nickname isn’t true enough hold up

AnaTHOT changed BookBitch to Drinking+Studying

Drinking+Studying: No don’t 

Drinking+Studying: ...wait... 

Drinking+Studying: Yeah I like this better

Fierce ;): Hey Anatole, how goes that job? 

AnaTHOT: HOLY SHIT I OVERSLEPT 

AnaTHOT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Fierce ;): And here you see the wild Panic-atole in his natural state of “AAAAAAAAAAAAH” 

AnaTHOT: NOT HELPING 

Fierce ;): Okay, that’s fair

HoesRUs: Wait why are you still texting??? PAY ATTENTION MAN

AnaTHOT: I’m just getting in my car now, about to head out

Fierce ;): I’ll meet you there, I want to talk to you about something. 

HoesRUs: owo??

AnaTHOT: Once again, NOT HELPING 

AnaTHOT: And sure Fedya, I’ll see you there

HoesRUs: Well, I have morning classes today, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go

Natalie: Oh yeah! I have class too! TTYL 

SonYAASQUEEN: Woah! What a coincidence! So do I! Talk to you people later!

Fierce ;): Okay Bye you three! 

Drinking+Studying: Study hard! 

AnaTHOT: Shut up, old man

— Private conversation between AnaTHOT and Fierce ;) —

Fierce ;): Hey I forgot I had made plans with my sister for brunch today. I do want to talk to you though. 

AnaTHOT: Yeah, go ahead. What’s up? 

Fierce ;): Okay first of all these nicknames, I swear lol

AnaTHOT: Lol

AnaTHOT: But actually, what do you need to talk about? 

Fierce ;): You know how I was always complaining about my roommate? 

AnaTHOT: The loud, lazy, obnoxious, never-cleans-up-after-himself roommate? 

Fierce ;): The very one

AnaTHOT: Ugh, I just hate the sound of that guy

Fierce ;): Anyway, he finally moved out! He changed dorms so that he could live with his fiancé 

AnaTHOT: Awesome!! Not for his fiancé though :/

Fierce ;): Lol Yeah

AnaTHOT: Do you have any idea who’s gonna be your roommate now? 

Fierce ;): That’s actually what I was wondering. Would you like to move in with me? 

AnaTHOT: Really?? That would be great! 

AnaTHOT: Are you sure though? Considering our... history? 

Fierce ;): I think it’ll be fine. I mean, I’m not in that place anymore. Are you still in that place? 

AnaTHOT: No.

Fierce ;): Well then, it’s settled! I’ll talk to the dean later today! 

Fierce ;): Oh! My sister’s here. Talk to you later roomie!~

AnaTHOT: Byeeee

— Private conversation between Drinking+Studying and AnaTHOT —

AnaTHOT: PIERRE THIS IS NOT GOOD

Drinking+Studying: Oh god, what have you and Fedya done this time? 

AnaTHOT: I just agreed to room with him..

Drinking+Studying: Seriously? Considering your history together? 

AnaTHOT: I KNOW! I said the same thing! 

AnaTHOT: He said that he wasn’t still “in that place” and he asked if I was. 

Drinking+Studying: What did you say? 

AnaTHOT: I said no. You know, like a BIG FAT LIAR

Drinking+Studying: Are you actually still in that place? 

AnaTHOT: PIERRE, I’M MAYOR OF “THE PLACE” 

Drinking+Studying: Then why don’t you just tell him? 

AnaTHOT: He’s clearly over me. I just don’t want to be even more heartbroken than I already am.. 

Drinking+Studying: Just think about it? 

AnaTHOT: Okay, I’ll think about it. 

AnaTHOT: Thank you dude, I really appreciate this

Drinking+Studying: Anytime Anatole. I’m here for you buddy

AnaTHOT: :)

Drinking+Studying: That is seriously an accurate nickname tho

AnaTHOT: STFU

Drinking+Studying: Understandable, have a great day. 

———

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I’m really proud this chapter. Also, Pierre and Anatole’s dinamic is designed after one I have with one of my friends at school. Thought I would throw a reference to them into here bc why not. 
> 
> Anywho, Please leave kudos and ideas for future chapters!And whoever you are, I hope you have a great day/night!


	3. Brief A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's note! Woohoo!

Hey all my readers! Thank you so much for following along with this story so far!

I'm really sorry, but I've been SUPER busy recently, not to mention I've had absolutely no inspiration, so this fic has gone without update for a while now. Hopefully, once spring break starts, I'll be able to update more frequently from a bunch of bus trips in Washington DC! 

Anyways, thanks again for staying with me, and hopefully, more updates are coming soon!

\- Captain_Nerdsalot <3


	4. Author's note (once again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :///

Hello again everyone, 

I am so sorry that this has gone unupdated for such a long time, but I think I might want to end it. I've just been so busy with school stuff (bc I'm starting high school yay :DD) and I've been working on other stuff by myself and with @ConfusedButTrying (who I love with my entire being and I love working with him so much lol). I just think its's for the best that I end it where it's at for now. 

Maybe if I have some time in the near future, and I look back on this and want to update it, I will, but for now, this is the end of the Great Comet Group Chat. 

Thanks for everyone who took the time to read this and leave some really amazing comments, you all are my life force and I love each and every one of you. I promise to post some new content as soon as I can. 

Anyways, thank you all for reading and I hope you have an amazing day/week/month/year!

\- Captain_Nerdsalot <333


End file.
